


Between Heartbeats

by houndinghell



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Jaws of Hakkon Spoilers, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 10:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4826261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houndinghell/pseuds/houndinghell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She has to stop him because she loves him. No matter how badly she gets hurt or what price she has to pay, he has to be stopped.</p><p>And the price is higher than she could have imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between Heartbeats

“Solas,  _please!_ ”

White hot fire burst in front of Lavellan, throwing her backward in a wild tangle of limbs and pain as she struck the rough hewn stone, knocking the air from her lungs. She skid to a halt only when her body hit an outcropping too large for her to roll over.

Even as her body struggled to pump air back into her lungs, she scrambled to her feet, swinging her mage’s staff wildly in Solas’ direction and praying to Gods she knew not to exist that she would strike him, distract him, something,  _anything_.

Luck was with her—she heard his cry and then the sick crack of bone on rock. She couldn’t see it, though, too busy stumbling forward and clinging desperately to her staff as her body protested against her, desperate to give in to gravity and simply lie there. There was no part of her that didn’t hurt, that wasn’t bruised or cut or scraped in some way. Blood was soaking into her mouth, so that every breath tasted like copper and iron, and more of it still dripping into her eye from her scalp so that she had to keep it shut. More of it was pooling at her feet from her… knee? Her thigh? She wasn’t sure—it all hurt so much.

But she had to keep fighting.

Even in the limited lighting of the cave—all rune blues and veilfire greens—and with her one good eye, she could see that where she was struggling, Solas had only been stunned. Though there was a dripping wound on his temple now, he was back on his feet and stalking towards her, smoke pouring from his mouth and fingers, his eyes twin stars in the relative darkness.

Lavellan coughed and ignored the wet rattle of her chest and shook herself. She had to fight, even if all she was fighting for was a longer, heavier defeat.

“What you want is madness, Solas,” she begged, keeping her gaze on his face, even when the light began to hurt for sheer intensity. “You’ll destroy the world, countless lives! You’re making a mistake, the same mistake as you made before, but so much worse because you  _know_  what it’ll do now! All to revive what’s already lost? Do we really have so little value to you?” Her voice was hoarse from screaming and pain, every word forced out around the desperate need to give in, be done.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” and the word was so gentle still, so full of love she couldn’t help but flinch from him and the sadness in his face, “you know why I must do this. Please, stop fighting me. It doesn’t have to end like this.”

“So then stop! Just stop, listen to me, give me a little more time to show you-”

“There is no more time.”

Power crackled around him, and with a wave of his hand she was knocked aside once more, hitting what had to be every stone in her path. This time, the snap of bone was hers and she screamed with it as agony cut through her shin. The scrape of skin pulling from her hand as she clung desperately still to her staff, the peel of her nails from her fingers, the heavy thunk of her head on the ground—all paled in comparison.

Through the roar in her ears, she could barely make out Solas’ voice again. “I’m sorry,  _Vhenan_. It’s over. I know you will not forgive me. I am not even sure I can forgive myself for this.”

She forced herself to turn her head so she could look at him, not even bothering to try and hold back a sob. His back was turned to her as he walked away—towards the large glass and golden orb that lay in the center of the cave, encased in so much delicate wire and fine threads of magic it was nearly impossible to make out the orb itself. But as he got closer to it, a deep hum began to rise from it, shaking through the ground and rattling her teeth, and green energy hissed and spat through the gaps in the wire like tongues of flame.

Soon, he would unleash the fade on the world and destroy it. Another sob wracked its way out of her body. And why shouldn’t she mourn? She had failed. There was nothing she could do—the fight was all gone from her, and her body was too broken. There was nothing to be done. There was no way to win this. She was out of time.

Time. She needed- she needed more  _time_.

The idea settled in her, so simply and so clearly it was like taking the first breath after waking up. It was so easy, she couldn’t have possibly seen it before. It was only now, at the end, that she could see the way and embrace it what had to happen.

Slowly, with shaking limbs, she pushed herself up to her knees, then used her staff to keep herself propped up, wedging it into a crevice in the rocks to keep it from sliding. Standing was beyond her, but she could manage this much at least. Her ruined hand protested, her knees screamed in pain, her broken leg felt like it was on fire, and the edges of her vision had begun to blur and tip at the edges.

It didn’t matter. Just a few more moments, and it would be done.

The thought soothed her, let her breathe easily for a moment despite the growing power all around her. A small, crooked smile spread across her face.

It was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay. It was going to be over, and she could rest. After years of dedicating herself to the world, hollowing herself out just so she’d have a little more to give, she could stop.

It was all going to be okay.

“I’m sorry, Solas,” she sighed, barely audible.

Still, he heard her. Of course he did. He glanced over his shoulder, in time to see a blue light, a clear, lyrium blue, seep from her skin as she drew on every last bit of mana within herself. Every reserve she’d ever made, she reached down into and scraped raw, scrubbing it dry from her soul in a terrible way that hurt even more than her body did. She opened her mouth to scream, but there was no air in her lungs to do it. It didn’t matter, it  _couldn’t_  matter. Only a little longer, just a moment more, she could do this, she had to.

Power was swelling in her hand, threads of it bursting and arcing forward, tangling into wisps of smoke that had gathered too close to her. If her mind wasn’t so full of screaming, she might have laughed at how much it looked like the anchor, ready to break free again.

He realized what was truly happening a moment too late. Even as he shouted a broken, desperate, “ _NO!_ ” even as he leap towards her with outstretched hand, eyes wide with horror, he was too late.

There was a moment, though, a split second of calm as everything in her mind went silent. In that moment, as she took in the expression on his face, the way the smoke had died and the magic in his eyes went out, she wondered for a brief and hysterical moment if the horror there was for what she was doing to him, or to herself.

Her smile widened and she forced one last breath of air into herself, savoring the way her ribs pulled and her lungs filled and the sheer enjoyment of  _being_. “I love you.”

And then the magic broke free from her, and everything vanished.

 

 

Dorian had been told what to expect. He had read every report Leliana had sent to him until the papers had fallen apart, had questioned Cassandra for every bit of information she had when she had met him at the encampment below the mountain cave, had drawn on his not inconsiderably vast knowledge of magic to pick apart and theorize what could have actually happened instead of what he’d been told.

None of it prepared him an inch for the sight in front of him.

It was silent here. Every one of his footsteps was muffled, stilted, as if the very rock was trying to hush him for daring to trespass. Torches and lanterns had been set around the walls to illuminate the cave, but even the pop and crackle of the fire was deadened to the point he had to strain to hear it.

That was strange and eerie enough. But worse was the way the light fell in the darkness. It flickered and rose, hiding and revealing the most intimate details of the scene in front of him by turns. More than once, Dorian jerked, whipping around to look at something more closely he had been certain had moved, only to realize yet again it was simply a trick of the light.

Nothing was moving.

 _No one_  was moving.

Solas and Lavellan were frozen in the emptiness, impossibly captured between heartbeats, torn out of time.

Him, reaching for her so desperately he did not even touch the ground, leaping, his hands open and wanting towards her, his mouth forever open in a lost word, his eyes so full of fear that Dorian could not look at them for long. Especially not as the firelight flickered in them, giving them false life.

And her… Lavellan, his dearest and only friend. Kneeling on cold, unforgiving stone, her leg twisted unnaturally beneath her, her arms flung out in a mockery of supplication—or perhaps, Dorian thought with a twisting in his stomach, to embrace the man who was reaching for her so hopelessly.

But even that idea was not as bad as her face.

Her expression was… Peaceful. There was a serenity there that Dorian was certain he’d never felt, not even in sleep. Her eyes were closed, her face relaxed, her mouth trapped in a small smile, her hair blown out around her like a halo, the circle of it was so perfect.

And every time the light flickered, Dorian could almost, almost convince himself that she was breathing. That any moment, she would fall, and get up again.

“You’re a damned fool, you know,” he said, his throat tight, his hands clenched at his sides as he crouched next to her. “Just because Inquisitor Ameridan did it, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Who does this help? No one! Now we still have to stop him, all while trying to free you!

“And you had to make it even harder didn’t you? Of course you did,” he spat, glaring at her for a moment before sliding his gaze down to the rock again, away from the tricks of the light. “It’s not enough you did this. You tied your magic into his, leeched off of him so he couldn’t stop you. You just like making my life difficult, don’t you? And your own. Foolish, foolish girl!”

The cave swallowed his words, smothering them into the shadows.

Dorian closed his eyes. Heartbeats passed, and nothing changed.

“I’ll find a way to fix this. No matter what it takes. You’ve saved the world enough times—more than enough for anyone. Now it’s your turn to get saved for once. You hear me?”

Only silence answered him.


End file.
